I’m sure many people in my life would say I struggle with this:
"Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket–safe, dark, motionless, airless–it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable." C.S. Lewis
I don’t know where Lewis said / wrote that; I pulled it from another blog that I read once in a while. But it seems to fit. My question is: what are the consequences of the "unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable" heart?
I’ve realized that in my life, I need to see somebody else’s life operating better than mine for me to desire what they have enough to want to change. So, while I’ll admit to burying my heart six feet deep, I haven’t actually seen the alive heart operating to such a degree in the lives of people around me that it makes me want to dig mine out of its casket. I see dysfunction that is roughly comparable to my own.
So, I’m left weighing the perceived consequences of sticking to my guns and hosting a stony heart. "Oh…I can make myself vulnerable to more pain…and have what they have??!??! Great…I’ll PASS."
Then there’s Jesus, standing off in the distance, arms crossed, foot tapping, heading shaking. And I know he’s thinking: "Joel, what the FRICK do you keep comparing yourself to other people for."
And I realize I need to go find a shovel and start digging after all.