I’m sure there are tons of surprises left for me in my walk with the Lord… But one thing I am no longer surprised with is His orchestration of podcasts, books, messages, music, movies and the such. It’s absolutely ridiculous all the stuff that’s lining up right now with what I need to hear.
What all this means, in not-so-many words, is that I simply have to acknowledge what He’s inviting me into… and that’s a bit scary on a few different levels. In every which way, it’s what I deeply long for and desire; and yet at the same time, it’s terribly intimidating and would be so much easier to simply ignore. I guess it probably wouldn’t be all that easy to ignore, because I eventually couldn’t live with myself… but I think you get the point.
On an infinitely smaller scale, I’m resonating with Pete Greig’s description of what it felt like to get swept up by the Lord as he was led unsuspectingly into founding the 24-7prayer movement, as told in Red Moon Rising:
… that day in the that pub was without doubt the moment I first felt the tinge of fear. It’s frightening when you blink and discover that you’re in a speeding car but no longer driving. It’s scary to realize that God is moving and you are somehow caught up in something much bigger than you could have possibly known.
I’m certainly not on the fringes of playing catalyst to a worldwide prayer movement, but the Lord seems to be propelling me toward new frontier. And as Greig testifies, it is a bit frightening. Though, I don’t think the unknown intimidates me as much as the prospect of failing. And even with that, I don’t know if it’s as much about me failing as it is about me not sustaining enough spiritual burn to see things through.
When I’m rightly plugged into the Lord as I am now, I sense all things are possible for those who believe. Tasks appear daunting, but I remember that I serve a God of the impossible and that it’s not up to me to accomplish everything by my whit and muscle.
So, it’s the drift I fear more than anything. I fear old patterns. I fear bad habits. I fear old-man desires that seem to own me sometimes. I fear saying “Yes” now and “No” later, as I’ve done before.
Misty Edwards says in her heart-cry worship song, I Am Yours:
And I made my vows, no turning around
And I burned the bridges, they can’t be found
Seems I’m prone to keeping a bridge standing somewhere, even if it’s down the valley a couple miles off-trail and is made of frail twine. It’s still a bridge. And I’ve found ways to cross it before.
So, I guess this is an invitation to keep me in prayer :)
No more bridges!