I created this blog not as a public, online journal, but as a fun means I could keep my writing edge and allow friends and family some insight into my day-to-day life. I planned it to be more light-hearted that it has been. So bear with me as I go off on another life-reflection. I’m honestly not trying to be melodramatic here.
So there are some “situations” in my family that are really eating away at me. I want them to be resolved so badly and they just continue to linger in the background of my family like a weak AM radio station. Sometimes the noise and interference is subtle, sometimes not so subtle.
I’ve come to terms with that fact that I’m not going to be the solution to the problem, not matter how much I desire its resolution. For the longest time I dreamed and schemed how I could bring about healing. But as I’ve grown in maturity and faith, I’ve realized that some things are simply out of my control and no amount of brain power or wisdom will bring about change.
In taking the matter to the Lord more passionately and sincerely than ever before, He revealed to me that I simply have a ROLE to play in the situation and that playing the ROLE is his will for me. He’s not calling me to be the all-encompassing solution. So often I want to get my hands on something and fix it, all the while completely looking past what is really being asked of me.
I was so fixated on what I thought the end product should be and how to create that end product, I neglected to see that I more immediately needed to become part of the manufacturing process itself. I had made myself unavailable.
What relief this revelation provides. It removes so much of the pressure I was placing on myself. And it places the burden squarely on God’s shoulders–where it belongs. He’s the only one capable of carrying the load. And best of all, he wants to. He wants to usher in healing. All he needs are some willing and available legs to carry out his good work.