When you don’t know what to do with an exotic, bizarre and practically un-edible fruit, throw it in a blender

Kiwano. That’s what it’s called. Shoppers are lured in by it’s exotic skin:

And immediately repulsed by it’s slimy guts.

Believe me, it’s not as elegant in there as it looks.

Sherry bought me a collection of fruit for my upcoming birthday, thus supporting my 40-day meat and refined foods fast. At the center of the tray was this bizarro kiwano. How could you not be excited about something that looks as unique as a kiwano?

Well, with the parents as witnesses, we can all testify that the kiwano ranks right up there with the most un-edible foods on the planet. The green-slim guts and riddled with more seeds per cubic inch than anything else I know. And they aren’t like watermelon’s white seeds, which go down unnoticed. No, these seeds are more like a hybrid of the white and black seeds in watermelon. Containing each seed is a small packet of gel, which makes up the “fruit”. The minute I cut into the thing, watery juice gushed out. It’s really just a slim-pit inside.

It doesn’t taste bad. At least mine didn’t. I’ve read otherwise online, but I thought the flavor was okay. Very light, but okay. Realizing I couldn’t do much with it as-was and not wanting it to go to waste, I did what any people named Joel Maust would do: I blended it. I spooned the slime out of the shell, threw in some strawberries, a peach, a banana, yogurt, cottage cheese and some orange juice.

The kiwano seeds persisted through the blend, so there was some light seed-crunching that went along with the smoothie. Oh well. I’m sure it increased the fiber value.

So, google kiwano and see what others have to say if you’re interested. But in summary, it sounds like your best bet is to use them for decoration.